AFC East Preview

We all know how competitive this one is likely to be. The race to keep out of the basement.

Patriots- I really don't feel like talking about them, due to my innate hatred of all things Bostonian, but I suppose I'll have problems if I don't. Tom Brady is still going to put up good numbers, although to expect anything like last years offense is a bit much. Randy Moss is still Randy Moss, able to leap three defenders in a single bound and catch a ball while hes up there, and to rip the time-space continuum when he goes into a full sprint. Laurence Maroney is a strong back, and while it isn't really known if he could carry a full rushing load, he doesn't have to because of LaMont Jordan, Kevin Faulk, and Sammy Morris. Welker Gaffney and all the rest of the receiving corp figure to perform fine, and the offensive line, while aging, is still a solid group of players (although questions could be raised after Nick Kaczur was found with 200 some-ought oxy-contin pills this offseason). The defense is going to have serious durability concerns, with an AARPpai of starting Linebackers. Jerod Mayo should be able to help, and the addition of Adalius Thomas from last season helps with keeping the energy up, but for all we know the other backers in question will wanna stop halfway through the third quarter to curl up in a chair and watch their stories. The D-line has depth questions (#2 nose tackle is named LeKevin: I shit you not) and corner is shaky after Hobbs, but overall this team could win just about any division in football, and they get to play Miami and Buffalo twice a year.

Jets- This team will definitely be fun to watch, althoug slightly less so if Chad Pennington and his perfect game manager skill set are at the helm as opposed to struggling Kellen Clemens. A strong set of big nastys in the trenches, including a downright scary left side (D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Alan Faneca). They should help open holes for Thomas Jones and Leon Washington, and really anyone else who runs to that side. That should in turn bring safeties into the box and free up Laveranues Coles to run deep one on one with opposing corners. They also feature a slew of talented tight ends, headlined by disgruntled Chris Baker and they brought in Dustin Keller through the draft. The defense is what will really be entertaining with Kris Jenkins brought in to clog up the middle, thus freeing up space to let loose Calvin Pace and absolute monster rookie Vernon Gholston. Eric Barton and David Harris figure to start inside. Barton is a solid player, but David Harris went absolutely insane after moving into the starting lineup last year, recording a reported 98 tackles in 9 starts. He also notched 5 sacks, although none came against particularly imposing offensive lines other than one versus Pittsburgh week 11. The men manning the outside, second year talent Darrelle Revis and former kick returner turned starting corner Justin Miller, are fun to watch if they get the ball in their hands, and should do a fine job keeping up with speed threats of the division Lee Evans and Randy Moss. They could face problems with more physical wideouts though (see Hardy, James and Wilford, Ernest). The safeties like to fly around and make things happen, which can make problems, but seems like it embodies the skill sets of this whole unit.

Bills- The Bills are the modern league poster boy for why you need stable quarterback play. They have Trent Edwards and JP Losman battling in camp, although I expect Edwards to start, if not the opener then by week 3. Marshawn Lynch showed last year why he was the first human tailback taken, as Android Adrian Peterson had already been claimed by the Vikings. He was very productive running the ball and figures for more of the same this year, and he also had good production on his catches, although they were few and far between. Lynch is, however, noted for having good hands for a back, so that was just a coincidence, a statistical anomaly of sorts. The aforementioned Lee Evans and James Hardy, along with Roscoe Parrish will provide genuine options on the outside for Trent Edwards to throw to, and if Jason Peters gets back with the team by week 1, he should have time to throw it to them too. The rest of the linemen are shaky, with no real consistent performers. The defense is anchored up the gut by Marcus Stroud and Paul Posluszny. They have talent sprinkled over the rest of the field, with free agent signing Kawika Mitchell coming in to man the weak side and Terrence McGee still lining up outside to try and shut down opposing #1 receivers. Aaron Schobel is still counted to disrupt timing in other teams passing games and figures to be fine in that capacity. Overall, this squad has some talented pieces, but just isn't ready to really compete yet.

Dolphins- lol


Seriously, though, they are a veritable train wreck of football suckdom; and while Jake Long was a good pick, he will NOT be able to turn this team around. It's just the nature of his position. A blindside protector is incredibly important, but reports out of Dolphins camp are telling me that John Beck wants Long to keep opposing rushers off of him for way too long to expect a human to do it (another use for Adrian "The Terminator" Peterson?). Ronnie Brown is still a talented runner and should help power a running game that could turn out respectably if the Dolphins linemen get mean this year. Changes need to be made to that set of blockers regardless because even if they DO end up getting right mentally, they still basically suck in pass protection by NFL standards. The offense also doesn't feature a lot of options in the passing game, with Ted Ginn Jr. and Ernest Wilford expected to be the weapons on the outside. Ginn can't hold on to passes enough to be a #1 and Wilford can't run well enough to be a real central cog of a passing game. They need help on the defensive side of the ball with a general lack of talent on the line and Vonnie Holliday slated to start again, even though at his age, he should be getting faded out slowly. The defensive backfield lacks leadership and really needs help at corner with Will Allen the #1 and Mike Lehan #2 (if you don't know who he is, join the rest of us). Overall, I can't foresee much more than another season of epic phailure