Mike Stanton

So the MLB trading deadline passed recently, and many a fan had many a rejoiceful time, and many a fan had many an agonizing time.

On July 30th, there were heavy rumors about a Manny Ramirez trade to the marlins. In return, Boston wanted Jeremy Hermida, Ryan Tucker, and a CF prospect named Mike Stanton. Now, when i heard about this Stanton fellar, i asked myself "who in dwight howard's name is mike stanton?" (you will hear use dwight howard alot in place of the word "god" or "jesus". why you ask? it's simple, it's because dwight howard is the messiah.)

I have concluded that Mike Stanton does not exist, and is instead a fictional player formulated by the marlins front office specifically to acquire players in trades.

See, the thing about me that you will come to know if you are a reader is that i am pretty much the biggest and most knowledgeable marlin fan you will ever come across. If i don't know a marlins player from 2003 onwards, then he probably never existed. Mike Stanton is one of those select few.

Seriously dude, i heard the rumor that the red sox wanted 2 top prospects along with Hermida and i said to myself "i assume they will take Tucker and someone like Jai Miller or Sean West". But no, to my epic shock, the red sox decided they wanted a dude named Mike freaking Stanton.
In the disbelief that i was, i checked various prospect sites to find mike stanton at places varying from 9th-20th on the marlins list. The most amazing thing is that i check these sites regularly for prospect information (to rename players on MLB 2K8) and i had NEVER seen stanton on any list until that very day.

What can we conclude from this story (other than the fact that you just wasted a few precious minutes of your life reading this)? Simple. We can conclude that Mike Stanton, single A outfeilder for the Florida Marlins does not exist, and is simply a character in one of Larry Beinfest's plots for world domination.